surprised by desire

getting to serve at the Irving headquarters of this beautiful ministry reminded me of how big God is today, watching this movie moved me like I haven’t been moved in a long time..

I’ve been to other countries, but the time gap since the last time I went has left me focused on such a small spectrum, my world is too small. Zambia reminds me of how small I am, and how BIG God is.

it’s interesting to me to think about all the times something has pricked my heart and I’ve responded with “I want to do that!” then, the spark fades away, and my good intentions mean squat.

sometimes I think that my heart can only be fully invested to one people group, one ministry, one age level [but when I look at the way Jesus ministered, He ministered to ALL..God so loved THE WORLD..not just one part of it..therefore, if I’m walking as Jesus did, I should not limit myself..He has freed me to do much to make much of Him] . If you know me, you know I’ve been given a special heart for the elderly. working with them makes me feel most alive, and I’m excited to start taking gerontology classes in the fall..

but today my heart, to my surprise, deeply desired going to Zambia (a place i never heard of before today). and I don’t know what to do with that..what do you do when a desire roots in your heart that seems contrary to the path you are on, yet is a biblical path? how many dreams can be alive at once? when must dreams die so others can actually become reality?

[and the day before my heart desired to work with Down Syndrome kids, and the day before I wanted to go work at a resort in the woods, and the day before I just wanted to be a stay at home mom..needless to say, it varies..and there are different seasons for different things].

“Amy, I have something bigger for you, bigger than what you’ve confined yourself to..”

I heard the Lord speak that into my heart today. I don’t really know how to process it. Exciting? Yes. 

Terrifying? A tad.

where You go, I go..