it's always the same thing. "hey, amy, you're a really good brusher...but we need to go ahead and fill 85943859348 of your cavities." it doesn't make sense to me sometimes. are they just trying to take my money? but then again, it's not really my money. having a dad that works at a hospital has its perks when it comes to health insurance. it's the fact that getting fillings..IT HURTS. knowing something is for your best doesn't take the pain away. but i got out of bed and made the long 1/10th of a mile drive to the dentist.
they were waiting for me when they got there. the hygienist took me back. "what flavor polish?" i went with cinnamon. as i sat there and opened my mouth, i felt vulnerable. and then i realized why. i can hide the problems i have with my teeth. nobody looks close enough to really see the decay on them. flash them a smile, and that's all they really see of my teeth. but when you go to the dentist...they're the teeth experts. you can't lie to them. they know when you haven't flossed or brushed. they know when you clench your teeth. they know when you haven't been taking care of yourself like you should. they're professionals. if your teeth have a problem, you can't get it past them. everything may seem fine, but then they put their little pick in their and start digging around in your mouth. wherever there is a problem, you feel pain as their little pick scraps and sinks its way down into your tooth. the pain sends a sting through your entire body.
then it hit me. that's how it is with God. so many times we don't want to go to Him because we know that when He searches our hearts for decay, He will bring them to surface. God is a professional when it comes to searching the heart, because He knows it fully. you can't fool Him with the issues of your heart, unlike others who can't see the invisible things which lie beneath. He will use certain situations to pry through our hearts, to pick at them, to bring things to surface that He already knows about, but needs us to see. this process hurts us. it stings. but God only hurts us in order to heal us.
each time i leave the dentist they always urge me to floss. each and every time. they know that the discipline of flossing helps protect my teeth. it also prevents damage. but, i don't do it. then, i complain when i have to get fillings. yet, they patiently remind me each time. they also go in and fill the cavity.
God commands us to read and meditate on His word (and other spiritual disciplines) in order to protect our hearts and stay close to Him. but we don't. and then we complain when we have to go through the consequences of sin, and even blame God. yet, He patiently, lovingly, and gently rebukes us. He yanks out the sin in my heart, and fills it with more of Him.
knowing something is for your best doesn't take the pain away. but getting more of Jesus through the pain is worth it every day.
[and if you were wondering, i only had one small cavity this time that they said i could come back in a few months to get filled. and, i'm really going to try to start flossing this time. and maybe broadcasting that will help me stay accountable in it.]
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