"our shattered dreams are never random. they are always a piece in a larger puzlle, a chapter in a larger story. pain is a tragedy. but it's never only tragedy. for the Christian, it's always a necessary mile on the long journey to joy. the suffering caused by shattered dreams must not be thought of as something to relieve if we can, or endure if we must. it's an opportunity to be embraced, a chance to discover our desire for the highest blessing God wants to give us, an encounter of Himself..the journey to joy takes us through shattered dreams...a new way to live is available to us, a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus."

"be humble under God's powerful hand so He will lift you up when the right time comes. cast your cares on Him for He cares for you" -1 peter 5:6,7.

so many times i come to lay it down, just to pick it all up again. i have casted, but then i bring back in the reel. i need to cast and release, i need do undo the leash. You tell me let go, but then what will i have to show? You aren't holding out on me, You're holding onto me. You have taught me to await your time, and while i do, i don't have to act like i am fine. part of coming to Your throne means waiting for You to do Your work, and You are in no hurry which is quite a perk. keep taking it all away so i can see You more clear, for Your image has begin to blur i fear. i want to be knocked down again and again until i rid myself of everything else i try to rely on to stand, the passage may be rough but You promise a smooth land. entitled to nothing, yet Your promises remain. something different than i thought they'd be shaped, but from my underestimates, longing for less than all You want to bring, You are my Escape. decisions to make, but You will never forsake. the lower the valley, the higher the mountain. Your love rains down like a fountain. from it all the rest of Your glory springs, every good and perfect thing You bring. Your grace always abundantly fills my cup. i do not have to stumble to my feet trying to support myself with a bar , for You will lift me up when the RIGHT time comes to fall before everything You are.

the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of all of us.

race pace

training for a half marathon with the rest of the RAs in the dorm i live in. and well, it has made me realize that our life really is like a race. when we try to set the pace and go faster than God intended, we end up struggling, getting tired, and either having to stop or slow down. plus, we try to do it without Him, and believe me that just does not work. when we take things at His pace we are blessed by going with the One who has gone before. He knows the way, the twists and turns in the road, and He is the Keeper of Time. He knows what pace we can maintain. He gives us the breath, the endurance to keep fighting. and when we fall behind pace, which we so often do, it is as if He stops and turns around and meets up with us and says "I was wondering where you went." God doesn't leave you behind, in the dust. when He sets the race pace, you will not only cross the finish line, you will run straight into His arms. the place we belong.

but here's another thing. although we train together, in the end, it's our own race. we will not enter Heaven as a cluster. the line to Heaven is single filed."it made me realize that even when everyone is doing the same thing, we all do it differently. some faster, some slower. some with ease, some with great difficulty. but the thing is, you can't compare yourself to how anyone else is doing. what matters is your race, not how everyone else is running it." although others can push us and motivate us to run our race better, and we can run legs of it together, may we never be so caught up in comparison that we find ourselves trying to run in their lane, run their race, live their life.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." -Hebrews 12:1

expectation is the root of all heartache.

but "Hope does not disappoint." -romans 5:5

love Heals..

if a heart does not heal, it hardens..



"The moon will be as bright as the sun, and the sun will be seven times brighter--like the light of seven days in one! So it will be when the LORD begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them" -Isaiah 30:26

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" -Psalm 147:3

life comes back.
things do change.
storms do pass.

sometimes, we have to be broken down so that we can be rebuilt into what we're actually meant to be.

and this is more Love than my heart can contain.

hard to love..

"i am the thorn in Your crown..i am the sweat from Your brow..i am the nail in Your wrist..i am Judas’ kiss, BUT YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY."

God still loves us after all of this yet we find it hard to make HIM the love of our life. ever find it hard to love God? i know i do. but i find that it is in these moments where i find it hard, it is because i forget who God is or i have stopped seeking and pursuing who He is. whenever i stop to remember who He is, i can't resist but to love Him.

Father, some people would say that it would be wrong for me to ask You to help me love You after all You have done for me, the greatest love and grace ever known. but You know everything about me, You remember that i am dust. You promise that you will do anything i ask in Your name and i know it is in Your will for me to love You. Your love is steadfast, relentless, persistent. HELP ME LOVE YOU! give me the strength and discipline to seek after You. to pursue You. to ache when i don't get to spend time with You. REMIND ME OF WHO YOU ARE, because i am so prone to forget. i want You, and when i don't want You, i want to want You. YOU AND ONLY YOU. thank You for loving me despite me.

may my love for You manifest itself in my love for others, just as You have loved me.