life in dead ends..

"Every person at one time or another — and often several in a lifetime — has been, or will be, where you are. At least with respect to feeling stuck in what seems to be a “dead-end” place with little purpose and little hope for change. So my first thought is, “You are not alone!”

Here's what is so important to understand about this season: If God is who He says He is, then nothing about your life is random — nothing.

Our nature is to think that if we're not “doing something” and “being productive” (usually informed more by western culture than Scripture), then we're not “accomplishing” (see previous parenthesis) anything.

But when we look at how God shaped and refined the men and women we read about in Scripture and throughout history, we see this recurring theme of “the holding pattern” — a season of seemingly “random non-productivity" where God is at work.

David of the Bible, one of my all-time favorite people, is a perfect example of what we're talking about. To a young guy, what does shepherding sheep have to do with anything? If anything was boring and “dead-end” for a teenager, it had to be being stuck out in the lonely fields slinging rocks at predators. He was one of hundreds of boys doing the same thing. A speck in the cosmos.

But what seemed ordinary and humdrum to David was critical in God's economy. It was there where David began learning of God and gaining revelation of Him unmatched in that day. It was there where David's heart became one after God's own. It was there where David learned to be still, and know that God is God.

We see it as a season of preparation, but for David it was just life as he knew it. And for all he knew, it would always be that way. Might as well get to know the God of the universe in the meantime.

David didn't see the season as preparing to be king, or preparing for anything. For all he knew he was doing what he would be doing for the rest of his life. But he touched eternity out there in the “holding pattern,” and it set his desire and hunger for his entire future.

Moses, Paul and countless others (Jesus himself didn't start His public ministry until his third decade of life) right down to our day, could tell the same story of the holding pattern. It's during these “seasons of winter,” when nothing apparent is going on above ground, that the roots are growing deep.

What feels like your dead-end right now could be the most critical season for what lies ahead. Now is the time for you to touch eternity. Get to know the One you desire to serve. Let your roots grow down deep so that your ministry flows from intimacy. Turn this season of apparent waiting into one of embracing Him who calls and equips.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little,” Jesus said, “can be trusted with much.” This job and season might seem little to you — as little as slinging a rock seemed to David. But that rock-slinging wasn't little to God. It was absolutely essential on multiple levels.

Being still and waiting might not be the favorites of present-day society, but they are still critical priorities in the Kingdom of God. This time in your life is fertile ground for God to shape Christ-like character, growing roots that have the strength to hold a tree and the fruit it bears. It may be that the only way you could waste it is by wishing it away."

guarding your heart the right way..

"several months ago I read an intriguing article at True U. In "Guarding Your Heart … From What?" Lindy Keffer talks about the mistake of guarding one's heart against the wrong thing.

She writes:When we talk about guarding our hearts, we usually mean being super careful about how much personal stuff we disclose to someone in whom we're romantically interested. We think of it as a way to save our emotional intimacy for our future spouses. There's only one problem with this idea. It's not actually biblical. The phrase "guard your heart" comes from Proverbs 4:23. Read in context, it's clearly talking about guarding our hearts against sin, not people.

This was new information to me. As someone who grew up in the church, I had this verse drilled into me as a caution against emotional intimacy with the opposite sex (not a bad idea in high school). Guarding myself from potential heartbreak became my guiding principle -- an indicator that I was "doing things right" in my relationships with the opposite sex. I now see that I also hid behind it to avoid being hurt.

Lindy goes beneath the surface:For those of us who once felt safe and justified living within the Christian dating box, the demands of righteousness can come as a shock. Suddenly, it's not about checking all the boxes on the list, but about being intimately attuned to the Holy Spirit, even as we are growing closer to another person.

Using the prophet Hosea as an example, Lindy points out that not all romances have happy endings. I think this is the hardest part about dating and marriage. In order to get to the point of making a lifelong commitment to love someone, we must open ourselves up to (at least one) sinful person who will hurt us. Somehow, I think we've taken the Christian relationship books to mean that if we follow all the steps, we can avoid the hurt, but it just isn't so.

And yet there is something of spiritual value in the process. When we make the focus guarding our hearts against sin, not people, we risk being hurt. But when you consider the many ways God can be glorified in righteous vulnerability, it is a risk worth taking."

just wait My beloved..

" a waiting person is a patient person .... willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us. patient living means to live actively in the present and wait there. waiting, then, is not passive. it involves nurturing the moment, as a mother nurtures the child that is growing in her womb."

"none of those other things make a difference.
Love is the strongest thing in the world, ya know.
nothing can touch it. nothing comes close.
if we love each other, we’re safe from it all.
Love is the biggest thing there is."

"that's the thing you never get used to it, the idea of someone being gone. just when you think its reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you and it just hits you all over again."

"our shattered dreams are never random. they are always a piece in a larger puzlle, a chapter in a larger story. pain is a tragedy. but it's never only tragedy. for the Christian, it's always a necessary mile on the long journey to joy. the suffering caused by shattered dreams must not be thought of as something to relieve if we can, or endure if we must. it's an opportunity to be embraced, a chance to discover our desire for the highest blessing God wants to give us, an encounter of Himself..the journey to joy takes us through shattered dreams...a new way to live is available to us, a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus."

"be humble under God's powerful hand so He will lift you up when the right time comes. cast your cares on Him for He cares for you" -1 peter 5:6,7.

so many times i come to lay it down, just to pick it all up again. i have casted, but then i bring back in the reel. i need to cast and release, i need do undo the leash. You tell me let go, but then what will i have to show? You aren't holding out on me, You're holding onto me. You have taught me to await your time, and while i do, i don't have to act like i am fine. part of coming to Your throne means waiting for You to do Your work, and You are in no hurry which is quite a perk. keep taking it all away so i can see You more clear, for Your image has begin to blur i fear. i want to be knocked down again and again until i rid myself of everything else i try to rely on to stand, the passage may be rough but You promise a smooth land. entitled to nothing, yet Your promises remain. something different than i thought they'd be shaped, but from my underestimates, longing for less than all You want to bring, You are my Escape. decisions to make, but You will never forsake. the lower the valley, the higher the mountain. Your love rains down like a fountain. from it all the rest of Your glory springs, every good and perfect thing You bring. Your grace always abundantly fills my cup. i do not have to stumble to my feet trying to support myself with a bar , for You will lift me up when the RIGHT time comes to fall before everything You are.

the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of all of us.

race pace

training for a half marathon with the rest of the RAs in the dorm i live in. and well, it has made me realize that our life really is like a race. when we try to set the pace and go faster than God intended, we end up struggling, getting tired, and either having to stop or slow down. plus, we try to do it without Him, and believe me that just does not work. when we take things at His pace we are blessed by going with the One who has gone before. He knows the way, the twists and turns in the road, and He is the Keeper of Time. He knows what pace we can maintain. He gives us the breath, the endurance to keep fighting. and when we fall behind pace, which we so often do, it is as if He stops and turns around and meets up with us and says "I was wondering where you went." God doesn't leave you behind, in the dust. when He sets the race pace, you will not only cross the finish line, you will run straight into His arms. the place we belong.

but here's another thing. although we train together, in the end, it's our own race. we will not enter Heaven as a cluster. the line to Heaven is single filed."it made me realize that even when everyone is doing the same thing, we all do it differently. some faster, some slower. some with ease, some with great difficulty. but the thing is, you can't compare yourself to how anyone else is doing. what matters is your race, not how everyone else is running it." although others can push us and motivate us to run our race better, and we can run legs of it together, may we never be so caught up in comparison that we find ourselves trying to run in their lane, run their race, live their life.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." -Hebrews 12:1

expectation is the root of all heartache.

but "Hope does not disappoint." -romans 5:5

love Heals..

if a heart does not heal, it hardens..



"The moon will be as bright as the sun, and the sun will be seven times brighter--like the light of seven days in one! So it will be when the LORD begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them" -Isaiah 30:26

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" -Psalm 147:3

life comes back.
things do change.
storms do pass.

sometimes, we have to be broken down so that we can be rebuilt into what we're actually meant to be.

and this is more Love than my heart can contain.

hard to love..

"i am the thorn in Your crown..i am the sweat from Your brow..i am the nail in Your wrist..i am Judas’ kiss, BUT YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY."

God still loves us after all of this yet we find it hard to make HIM the love of our life. ever find it hard to love God? i know i do. but i find that it is in these moments where i find it hard, it is because i forget who God is or i have stopped seeking and pursuing who He is. whenever i stop to remember who He is, i can't resist but to love Him.

Father, some people would say that it would be wrong for me to ask You to help me love You after all You have done for me, the greatest love and grace ever known. but You know everything about me, You remember that i am dust. You promise that you will do anything i ask in Your name and i know it is in Your will for me to love You. Your love is steadfast, relentless, persistent. HELP ME LOVE YOU! give me the strength and discipline to seek after You. to pursue You. to ache when i don't get to spend time with You. REMIND ME OF WHO YOU ARE, because i am so prone to forget. i want You, and when i don't want You, i want to want You. YOU AND ONLY YOU. thank You for loving me despite me.

may my love for You manifest itself in my love for others, just as You have loved me.