the pages of life will turn..

the pages of life will turn, and at the chapter's end you will find a blank space. 

with new chapters in life, just as authors of great books, writer’s block occurs; we get stuck in the transition, and all we can see is the blank space. some try to jot down everything in their mind as the antidote. in daily living this fleshes out as hurrying to get things started, to get settled in, to get involved, to make the transition fast. and although at times this method births some fresh ideas for writing, it can make our lives rushed and forced. when we don’t give ourselves time to process and to adjust, the richness of the finished product wanes, and we walk around exhausted. another cure is setting the writing aside for awhile. in life this can translate into being so overwhelmed and not knowing what direction to take so you simply stop. some even give up completely. great books are never published, life purposes aren’t lived out in full. but the truth is, life keeps going, and we are forced to react some way or somehow, today you choose to live or simply exist. another aid is reading back on what you have already wrote which stirs in you what should come next. in life this is looking back on God’s faithfulness to us thus far, giving us the encouragement we need to continue on. looking back and remembering helps us process and also move on in confidence, looking forward in hope.

the pages of life will turn, and at the chapter's end you will find a blank space.

“the real world.” “adulthood.” it has been entered. so why do I feel more like a little girl than ever before? it’s as if I am a baby learning how to walk for the first time, having to hold onto everything and everyone in sight or I will face plant. but I’m not surprised, for that’s how things work in my Father’s Kingdom. if dependence is the goal, weakness is the advantage. 

God doesn’t let us stay put. He didn’t let Jesus either, even in good places, doing good things (Luke 4:42-43). He knows being comfortable easily morphs into complacency.

God doesn’t let us know all the answers. when we think we’ve finally figured it out He changes the question. He knows knowledge is proud that she has learned so much, wisdom is humble that she knows no more. He knows without doubt faith would never have a chance to grow.

God doesn’t let everything go the way we want, He doesn’t make life easy. He knows and wants better for our lives than we do. He wants us to know Him in His sufferings. He knows it is through shattered dreams that we realize our desperate need for Him. He knows the complications of earth stir in us a want for the perfection of Home. He knows we need to remember this is our temporary home and we are exiles here.

God doesn’t let us play the same role forever. A tree takes a long time to root down into the soil. It grows deeper than it grows high. And then one day it is rooted up. Was all that time in vain? No. Because of what it became, the new part it had to play. The tree became paper, pencils, furniture, boats, a cross. “He changes times and seasons; He deposes kings and raises up others…” (Daniel 2:21). Each season has purpose in the now and preparation for the next.

God doesn’t let the people we are close to always play such a dominate roll in our lives. He knows how easily we turn to others to fix us, counsel us, and fulfill us. He knows our desire to be known can only be filled by Him, El Roi, the God who sees. Sometimes new friendships take longer to cultivate because He wants us all to Himself, to know the Friend who sticks closer than a brother.

the pages of life will turn, and at the chapter's end you will find a blank space. 

transitions are a form of grace reminding us of our identity. the stripping of things in our lives remind us we are not identified by a job, a house, a church, a school, a relationship, friendships, a routine, a car, our interests, our titles, our involvement, our character traits, how we view ourselves, how others view us, but by CHRIST ALONE.  lessons in transitions can reveal what it really means to live as Christians.

the pages of life will turn, and at the chapter's end you will find a blank space.

so in the transition give time time.

the pages of life will turn, and at the chapter's end you will find a blank space.

but it is important to remember in this book you will find many a face. you are not the only character, or even the main character so don’t get self-centered or think you are alone. this transition affects more than you know, as their past and future transitions influence you also.

the pages of life will turn, and at the chapter's end you will find a blank space.

but look and see in your hand there is no pen. you are not the Author. take relief knowing He already knew each word, each day from the start; this book you do not have to write. you see the ink hit the white, blotching the title of this transition, “take flight,” as He begins to lay out your new normal.

the pages of life will turn, and the final chapter will take up eternity space, when you make your easiest transition into Heaven, oh what a glorious place!

scrapes and scares

An elementary after school play date. Two other friends and I playing inside at a friend’s house. Deciding to go into the front yard, we heard the screen door slam behind us. Her mom and neighbor standing in the front door. And with a “ruff, ruff” two HUGE dogs busted through the neighbor’s door like race horses leaving their stalls after the gunshot. And me, who did not find big dogs to be my best friends but one of my biggest fears, saw the drooling duo heading my way. I immediately took off in a sprint down the street. The thuds of paws; the jingling of their tags; the huffing and puffing and panting. Must. Run. Faster…Curplop. Thud. Ouch. Pain. Dog licking my face. Tears. And then came my friends to meet me in the road where I had face planted thanks to a gigantic pot hole that had reached up and grabbed my foot and caused me to plummet to the ground. (Okay so the pot hole was probably only 6 inches in diameter, but nevertheless it had been the cause to my down fall). As my friends reached me they turned me over. Sitting up I saw a puddle of red liquid forming on the surface of my left knee. The stinging, the burn, and then there was the bruised pride. Helping me back into the house, the cut was cleaned and covered. My mom was called and drove up quickly after. The rest of that night was a blur. But a few days later I remember the scrape not healing. I was sent to the nurse. This was not your ordinary cut. I’m not sure what she did or what exactly was wrong with it (I think it may have gotten infected), but if you look at my left knee you’ll see the remains of that day imprinted still to this day.

You know, sometimes I wish I was still that young girl. Skidded and scrapped knees didn’t seem to hurt as bad as the pain of knowing how broken and fragile your heart is. How fractured you are due to sin. And even when you’re rescued the constant battle you need to be saved from day after day takes a toll, your heart is weary from being drug, skidded and scrapped. It’s been made new, but the part about it being made new, that’s a long drawn out process. Including the rooting out of fear.

I am finding in many ways I still am that same scared little girl running from the dogs, only this time they have different faces, different names. Today I’d call the drooling duo The Fears: the fear of being unloved, the fear of rejection, the fear of being a disappointment, the fear of the future, the fear of succeeding at things that don’t matter, the fear of not being enough, the fear of not getting the job, the fear of man, and the list could continue on and on. These fears jolt me into escape mode, and each time I scramble to run from them I find myself face down on the floor, more hurt, worn, and tattered than before. Instead of remembering and resting in the truth that I’ve already been rescued when Jesus bought my soul with His death and resurrection-The Great Escape, instead of remembering that His everlasting love casts out ALL fear for all fear is but a notion that His love ends, you know what I do? I resort to my own escape methods. They lead me not out of fear but into failure: failure to love, failure to see others, failure to be for His praise and glory, failure to trust, just like a pot hole led me to falling to the ground. And these “escapes” come with consequences, lasting effects, like the scar I have on my knee. They drive me deeper into captivity. My chains are gone, but I always seem to want to pick them back up and carry them, wrap myself in them. 

What if my reaction would have been different many years ago? What if instead of running I stood my ground as the dogs ran to me, or even stretched out my hand to welcome them and their wet tongue? What if I confidently stood knowing they couldn’t harm me? What if I stood behind someone who wasn’t afraid?

The same goes with fears. Instead of running from the things that I am afraid of, pressing them deeper in my heart and not dealing with them, or even letting them consume me, what if I stood confidently knowing all these things couldn’t harm me? What if I welcomed them, brought them out in the open and chose to embrace the fear, strangling the fear with truth? Fear fades in the light of eternal security. Assurance of where I will be for eternity frees me to adventure through the present with confidence.  What if instead of escaping when fear came I stood behind Jesus?  

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

the flight

glimpses of the cage door flinging open, seen-glistening
whispers of the free flight, heard-scattering

your migration to a new location for the next season's cycle is on the horizon,
the search for the new normal near to commence

the new destination yet disclosed
still you've found a way out
bittersweet, sad to go but needing breath from this suffocation
your wings will atrophy if they stick here to your sides much longer
it's time to go
by faith, not sight

laying in limbo
the in between
exciting yet terryfing

you're about to step into a tornado, this you know
but you're friends with Refuge, the Eye of the storm
you can reside, rest there
even while it all spin spin spins

the winds will stretch you
the more blowing bluster-- the more resilient roots
weed out apathy
the tree stays grounded
the trunk and limbs unchanged
despite the varying color or lack of leaves

shaking up the gravel
stirring up the pot
moving out of comfortable
exposes quite alot

this tide has surely changed you
and it will turn again
it comes and goes in waves
so that more of Him remains
not who you were, not yet who you are

through the lens of The Word you've been taught and strain to see
sometimes wondering what you have to offer, even though the Giver has gifted many things
to be re-gifted for His glory, yet how can this be?
when you realize how small the world you've been living in is compared to your Creator's galaxies.

feeling so small, tossed at sea, in a world that screams "individuality"
but you are free, free to focus on your role in the Body
The Head created each other part before the start
before just one day came to be He had a unique plan for thee.
you don't have to be a toe when you were made a finger
yet why does this unimportant, disconnected, feeling linger?
wanting to leave a mark, shine Light in the dark
searching for a place to belong, a place for the soul to sing its song

it won't be the picture perfect way you think
it will mean alot of relinquishing
ashes of dreams that die
for only One desire will satisfy
fighting to not let longing slay living
temporary other desires not becoming ultimate
yet, they are still legitimate
potential to weave you and Eternity together more intimate

fasten your seat-belt, The Captain confirmed a bumpy ride
wings spread steady, runway ready for the flight
with a sigh you realize you'll find yourself in this position again
and then you feel the rush of hope as the wind hits your skin
breathing in remembrance of His promise that in the end He will make all things right
you dive off the ledge into adventure yielding delight

the one thing nobody will ever share

Sometimes I find a new song that moves me and I don’t want to share it.

Sometimes I learn something new and don’t want to pass it on.

Sometimes I find new places and don’t want to introduce anyone else to them.

Sometimes I try a new food and don’t want others to taste it.

Sometimes I keep some of the things I enjoy doing a secret because I don’t want others to love them too.

Sometimes I wish I could be REALLY good at one thing, instead of a well-rounded individual who is decent at many things.

The root? Well, I long to be unique. To be different. To stand out. To have something that is fully my own, something I don’t have to share.

And it’s because I forget. 

I forget that my Creator created me as unique, different, standing out, the only me there is.

By getting caught up in trying and striving a forget to be. I forget I already am who I am longing to be.

“Though it’s likely that others may share your talents and gifts, not one person on the planet, past, present, or future, shares your thumbprint.”

With this truth, my soul breathes. I relax. At ease. 

uncertain now | certain then

Discontent.

Slapped in the face by future.

Floodgates opened to fear and lies.

Longing for certainty, I try to control.

I waste time in the present borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34 it is written, another command broken, sin.
Grace, please flood in.

Disoriented.

I believe God’s promises, but choosing to live as though His word is true

Is something that my mind is finding hard to do.

God’s sovereignty vs. man’s responsibility

Tell me what to do, tell me Your will, for I desire to do it

Can I please get some direction?!

But faith is what pleases You most, so You remain silent

You choose to guide me one step at a time

Because if I knew the destination, on You I would not rely

Discouraged.

You change my heart to do what You want me to do

You create this longing inside of me for more of You

Then it seems You go hide

Sometimes I’m afraid to keep seeking because I don’t know what I’ll find

These lies, they bind, they blind.

When all the while You gently whisper, “remember your life isn't yours, it's Mine.”

"My precious, you've died but once again I need you to die."

Disappointed.

Trying to set my heart and mind on things above

Reality of where I am sets in and suppresses the desires of my heart

I feel the tension between this temporal world and my eternal Home ripping me apart
I run to things of this world for comfort
The expectations I put on Earth it does not satisfy, it fails me every single time.
The certainty I long for cannot be found Here,
For where sin remains, uncertainty plagues.
Where sin is no more, certainty reigns.
Here is temporal uncertainty, There is eternal certainty.

And out of all of this, a hope bringing truth surfaces:

Never expect Earth to deliver what only Heaven promises.

Disburdened.

Photo Credit: Ann Voskamp

stranger danger

“Don’t talk to strangers.”

Another saying that belongs on the “sayings that don’t make sense” list.

The person you call friend today, you called stranger yesterday.

What if you had never talked to them? 

We commence the drilling of this saying into children upon the occurrence of their first spoken word.

The heart behind it: protection.

But the devil has twisted it for deception.

Over and over the lie has been compacted so deeply down down down into us that we have been conditioned to see “strangers” with a stigma.

This saying stains strangers, taints together, smears us all into separation.

Don’t talk to strangers=don’t pay mind to the world around you: the broken, the bruised, the needy; the fixed, the healed, the helpful; go on, pass them by, remain in your own little world, your own little bubble of self-protection, which may keep out the bad but also hinders the blessing, and maybe even someone's eternal destination.

It is so deeply rooted in us that it has become our natural way of life, unconsciously giving into the devil’s scheme, to destruct conversations in which Christ Savior would shine like a beam.

This saying complicates the Great Commission. It is apparently worldly, not biblical wisdom.
There is a stranger danger than talking to strangers.

Yes, strangers may think it strange that you talk to them. But, Christian, let me remind you that you should be thought of as strange in this world, so much that the Bible names you stranger, just flip over to 1 Peter 2:11.

God has given us wisdom and eternal protection; we rely on the Holy Spirit to help us discern when to flee [and rescue others] from dangers.

So PLEASE don't talk to strangers.