he went to Heaven on the last day of 2011.

it’s new years eve. and usually that means I would be busy with my year in review, taking time to look back and remember all the Lord has done the past year and the lessons He has taught me. two days ago I attempted to begin this year’s recollections, but today, on the last day of 2011, my grandpa bud journeyed Home to Heaven. and of course this has catapulted me into a whole different thought process, a whole different form of remembrance. so this one goes out to you, grandpa bud!

my grandpa bud knew this world wasn’t his home. he knew it was just a waiting room until he reached Home, and he anxiously awaited the day when Heaven would become a reality. with joy and a heavy heart, I can say that today was that day! “his heart failed,” they say. but I know that his heart’s longing for Heaven just got too big that it just exploded. He wanted to be with Jesus and so he went.

my grandpa was the most precious, cutest old man ever. i don’t care what anyone else says.




my grandpa was stubborn, but the positive side of this stubbornness was his loyalty. my grandpa bud was one of the loyalist people I ever met. if anyone needed anything, they knew who to call.

my grandpa was a man of integrity. he worked hard, never taking the easy way. my grandpa showed mercy. if someone could not pay him the rent for the building he owned, he waited patiently until they could. when the war came, he served his country faithfully.



my grandpa has been a faithful husband for over 65 years to grandma betty. I once asked him what made his marriage last. he said the Lord and compromise, that they were in it together. I loved to watch them so tenderly care for each other. sure, at times they butted heads, but they grew old together. he couldn’t hear, she can’t see..but together they took on the world.



my grandpa LOVED fishing. he was a fisher of men, but many a perch and northern did he catch in his day. minnows and worms, he choice of bate. to him, fishing was the closest thing to Heaven on Earth. some days he would let others join him, friends and family. I remember going out on the boat with him when I was little, as I squirmed to take my first fish off the line, he put his hand on mine and showed me how. I thought he was so brave, and he was. after telling him that he couldn’t be out on the boat by himself any longer, he replied, “I’m never alone. It’s me and Jesus.” oh what times they must have shared out there on the peaceful lake, the sun rising and setting, the ripples on the water. what conversations they must have had. this was the place my grandpa’s soul could breathe. this was his place with Jesus that nobody else could take away. last night he had his eyes closed and my mom said “dad, you okay?” he said “I’m just dreaming.” She said “about what?” he said, “fishing.” I wonder if the fish are biting up in Heaven..





my grandpa loved the cubs. in his later days his schedule would revolve around the games. even when they lost, he was still their biggest fan, even if that meant he yelled at the T.V. he was also a baseball player himself. a catcher. he played for his church’s team. and he loved it.his knees and hips might not have..(but i thought the fact that one of his shoes had to have an extra wedge put on them was precious).

if my grandpa was on The Price Is Right, he would have won every single game. he watched it every day and had each game down to a science.

my grandpa loved to play games. SkipBo being one of his favorites. he was very competitive. probably one of the most competitive players I have ever met, but the joy which leaked out of him upon him winning..i trade losing every time to see that grin, hear that holler. I remember playing with him about a year ago. he told me, “now amy, this may be the last game you will ever play with me. well, gramps you were right. [I let him win, and yes I got to see the joy].



my grandpa always like to grab my toes and make a silly noise. it always made me giggle.

circus peanuts and pretzels..each time i eat them, I’ll think of you gramps.

my grandpa would sit back and watch. he could see behind people's fake masks. here we are last Christmas as he was telling me about who he knew died their hair and how they were living a lie. we sat and went around the room and he told me about each person in our family, the good and the bad. he took time to look beyond the surface.



bud would always say “you only live once, might as well make it good.” he usually would say this when he wanted salty food, food he wasn’t supposed to be eating. or a big piece of cake. (it was cute to watch him sneak these things. he was such a goober, always up to something). but he had a point. life is too short not to enjoy it.

I can still hear my grandpa walking along with this hymn on his lips “Wonderful, wonderful, Jesus is to me, Counselor, mighty God, Prince of peace is He. Saving me, keeping me from all sin and shame, Wonderful is my Redeemer. Praise His Name.” only now he sings it at the feet of the throne, face to face with Jesus.



so, for the new year, my dear friends, I encourage you all to love your grandparents. (and if your grandparents if the last day ordained for your grandparents has already past, be a surrogate grandchild to someone else). write them a letter. pick of the phone and call them. spend time with the elderly. encourage them. listen to their stories. soak up their wisdom. they have lived life. if they know Jesus, oh how sweet it is to see his faithfulness in someone who has walked daily with Jesus for so long [think about all you have learned since you started walking with Jesus and multiply that by a few decades..woah..right?]. and if they don’t, what better time to lead them to Jesus then when they are nearing death, when they realize that this world is not reality. there is purpose, even in old age. help them see that purpose. don't just take my word for it..it’s biblical!

“Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.” - Job 32:7

“Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly.” - Leviticus 19:32

“Wisdom is with aged men, with long life is understanding.” –Job 12:12



"soon you will read the newspaper that I am dead. don't believe it for a moment. I will be more alive than ever before."



“our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.” (C. S. Lewis)

enjoy the inns this year dear friends, but know that Home just may be around the bend..and remember that physical life is nothing compared to all the LIFE we have in Him

“Your steadfast love is better than life. God's steadfast love in one hand with physical life in the other. His love trumps life every time.”

"He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires, brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very limit, toad-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back; Finally He brought us to this well-watered place." -psalm 66:10-12 (the message)






"For You, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, BUT You brought us to a place of abundance." -psalm 66:10-12 (NIV)

gratitude is the memory of the heart..

due to recent events my heart has took a trip down memory lane, into the historical museum "artifacts of amy's past." i've visited this place often. and i've dreaded it. i would have loved to have given up my tickets of entry. before it's been more like a trap for me, always wanting to leave. each time walking out weighted down with pieces of the rubble on my back, bondage. this time i waltz through the halls. this time i take my time to slowly examine each exhibit carefully, fingering the pictures. i notice the brushstrokes. the beautiful details which consummate together into a beautiful masterpiece. to my surprise the pieces of the puzzle fit. God knew what He was doing all along. why did i doubt? breathing it all in. it all makes sense. i can see the big picture (even though there is an even larger one to be revealed in days to come). this time i leave with a satchel full of memorial stones, causing my heart to remember, and fizz over with thanks! just like the memorial stones in the middle of the Jordan, mine remind me of the places God has led me from. in the Bible, the word remember is repeated countless times. this word now leaps off the page at me, for i have realized how forgetful i am..forgetful of all God is and all He has done. my forgetfulness leads to ungratefulness which yields a dissonance in my walk with my Savior. the Israelites are told to remember that the Lord led them out of Egypt, out of some of the worst times in their lives. my memorial stones mark this same leading in my life. although they were the "worst times" they were the best times. i've walked through fire, but He's made me brighter, leading me into, beautiful places. God is faithful. God restores what is broken. He has made everything beautiful in HIS time. i remember asking God to make me a more thankful person, and He has, in a very unexpected way. looking back no longer makes me cringe, for i look back the grace healed eyes. i pray that He will continue to make me thankful, not just when times are good, but because HE is good.




"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into clarity, problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."-Melody Beattie


may your heart remember today, may gratitude be the key which unlocks the way..

the MAN by the manger..

You know those stories that your heart becomes calloused to because of their repetitious nature? The Christmas story has over the years become one for me. Yet I am reminded of the fact that the Word is living and active. As a result, words we have heard and read a thousand times can take on fresh meanings at different times in our lives, as well as when we take a different perspective on the story, seeing it through a different lens. By looking beyond the surface, the wonder of the Christmas story has been restored in my heart. For a while I have been like Mary, in Luke 2:19, treasuring up all these things and pondering them in my heart. But the contents of my heart now want to spill out.


This year I have been drawn to Joseph (whom one of my little kindergarteners at church swears name is JoFISH), the earthly father of Jesus, so often overlooked. The most detailed mentioning of Joseph is found Matthew’s account of the birth of Jesus. Sure, you see him standing beside the manger in your nativity scene and see him walking next to Mary who is riding on the donkey in the Christmas pageant, but have you ever tried to see the story through his point of view?

Let’s first of all consider what a beautiful example of a MAN Joseph is. Something stirs inside me for the character of Joseph. Joseph is courageous. Joseph is called a righteous man. Pledged to be married to Mary, he finds out that Mary is with child before they came together, an act which in those times was social suicide at its worst form. In our society having a baby before marriage does not rattle everyone’s feathers (even though it should, for it is against God’s design and will), but the disgrace of this act in Bible times was detrimental. On top of that, what about the fact that Joseph must have felt cheated, concluding Mary was no longer a virgin, her purity tainted? Was he not worth the wait? The woman he was to marry, at this point in his understanding, had slept with another man. Stop and feel the weight of this situation. What would you do? Would you cover your own butt by throwing your fiancé under the bus? Many would be so worried about their reputation that they would do anything in order to avoid the humiliation. Would your anger swell? Joseph could have easily escaped the scandal by heaping more humiliation upon Mary, yet he “did not want to expose her to public disgrace” and therefore “he had in mind to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). WHAT AN ACT OF LOVE! Soak in the selflessness of this decision. Even when personally wronged, he had the quality of being sensitive to someone else's shame. Wow..you go Joseph! What a man of integrity (even if the world might have said differently)!

“Walking in obedience to God may result in humiliation and disgrace before men. When we obey God, even in the face of adversity and public shame, He leads and guides us.” So God sent Joseph an angel to let him in on the inside secret, that Mary was miraculously still a virgin, for it was the Holy Spirit who conceived the baby in her belly (um excuse me..HOW NEAT IS THAT?!). And then to find out that the baby was Jesus, the one who came to save people from their sin, the long awaited Messiah. I would have wet myself if I was Joseph. Yet, the angel comforted and commanded “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid..” (Matthew 1:20). So Joseph woke up and was obedient, “doing what the angel of the Lord had commanded him,” even though he was about to face much public humiliation. (Little did he know that the public humiliation he faced, His Son Jesus would face at a more extreme degree 33 years later on a cross. Joseph, too, was persecuted for the sake of the gospel..ever thought about that?!). Joseph did what was right in the Lord’s eyes, and therefore was blameless.

I’ve heard that after a couple has a newborn baby, for a long time they have a hard time leaving their baby alone with anyone else. It’s hard to entrust your child with anyone else. Imagine God the Father looking down on humanity to choose an earthly father for His one and ONLY Son..pretty big time huh? Joseph was an average carpenter, yet in God’s eyes he was so much more (the Christmas story show us this over and over again, that the things we think are average and common God uses for so much glory..a manger, a barn, Shepherds being the one chosen to hear the news and spread it, a teenage girl, a worried carpenter..need I say more? May this remind you that God can use YOU for noble purposes, no matter where you find yourself today). What trust God must have had in Joseph. What an honor!

Yet, this also stirred in me the question, “how did Joseph feel that he was not Jesus’ only father?” When Jesus was growing up and was left at the temple and his parents finally found Him, Jesus asked “Why were you searching for Me?...didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49). Although they did not understand what he was saying to them (Luke 2:50), I still can’t help but wonder how it made Joseph feel. Jesus was not in his house when Joseph found him…another father? I can see the confused look on Joseph’s face. I know at times when I mention someone being like a “second mom” to me my mother tends to tense up and become protective, because I am her one and only daughter. She becomes very territorial because of the love and the life she has poured into me. But on the other hand, my parents both know that I am not theirs, but my Heavenly Fathers. Yet, I wonder if Joseph understood this or if there was an internal battle when it came to fatherhood. Did Joseph know that his son was the Son of God?!

One last thing that I observe about Joseph is that he always followed the commands of the Lord concerning consecrating his child and presenting him to the Lord. Joseph was faithful in the little things. He rose up his child in the way he should go and passed on the carpentry trade to his son and raised him in the Jewish traditions and spiritual observances. (Not only did he do this for Jesus, but for his other children as well. Remember that Jesus had earthly siblings, too!). He also marveled at what was said about his son and was astonished when he found Jesus sitting in the temple asking teachers questions. You know, Joseph must have been so proud of his son, like all fathers should be.



MEN, take note of the MAN Joseph was. Women, look for a man displaying these qualities. And may we all turn our eyes to see the man standing next to the manger and learn a lesson on selfless love and integrity.

I encourage you to take a different look at the Christmas story this year. A blog I read mentioned a book called Touching Wonder: Recapturing the Awe of Christmas by John Blasé, that does exactly that. It “invites readers to experience the Nativity with fresh wonder. To Eugene Peterson’s The Message Bible translation, John Blasé adds his own storytelling voice, exploring the familiar events from multiple first-person viewpoints. What emerges is the intimate story of unlikely people—a frightened teenaged girl, a worried carpenter, a collection of senior citizens, a disillusioned young shepherd—meeting up with the divine as they bumble and stumble toward the realization that the little one just born is the One. This retold story of Word made flesh invites readers to react appropriately—with eyes opened wide in wonder, jaws dropped in amazement, and hearts rejoicing…” Here is a snippet from it where the writer writes some of what God might have thought that night as his son was born:

“Humans have been shouting their question for millennia: Why in God's name won't you show up? They say it when the moment seems to demand a force to do good: If you are God, then do something. But to show up in those moments would be to come in your name, not Mine. My ways are not your ways. ... She was brave. Only Joseph by her side, a cramped place to give birth, noise everywhere. And more. As she screamed out in pain, the Deceiver stood ready to devour My Son. The heavens shook with war. Michael and his angels reeled. Mighty One, do something!

I AM.”

This Christmas may we see the story of the cross through the lens of the manger. May we remember that Jesus is the Reason for EVERY season. Christmas is not a day, it’s a lifestyle.

running in circles..

it took all of my strength to simply be still..

"I never realized how much energy I spend in figure it out mode. I am fascinated by people, by what makes us come alive, wilt, break, desire, lash out and love. In some ways it makes me a better artist, this social curiosity. But in all the figuring and connecting of dots, I might be missing the point. Slowing invites the mystery to make His home with us. Quiet cuts a path through the chaos in a way study and figuring and reasoning simply can’t touch." -Emily Freeman





I’m so forgetful, but You always remind me
You’re the only one who brings me peace
You’re the only one who brings me peace
So I come, Lord I come I come, Lord I come
To tell you I love you
To tell you I need you

To tell you there’s no better place for me than in your arms
To tell you I’m sorry
For running in circles
For placing my focus on the waves,not on your face

You’re the only one who brings me peace
You’re the only one who brings me peace

In the storm In the storm

“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“I know how much you grieve over those who are under your care: those you try to help and fail, those you cannot help. Have faith in God and remember that He will is His own way and in His own time complete what we so poorly attempt. Often we do not achieve for others the good that we intend but achieve something, something that goes on from our effort. Good is an overflow. Where we generously and sincerely intend it, we are engaged in a work of creation which may be mysterious even to ourselves - and because it is mysterious we may be afraid of it. But this should not make us draw back. God can always show us, if we will, a higher and a better war; and we can only learn to love by loving. Remember that all our failures are ultimately failures in love. Imperfect love must not be condemned and rejected but made perfect. The way is always forward, never back.”

starting over..

God has really been wrecking one of my dearest friends from high school in a beautiful way in the past year and a half. many times i have regretted where i was in high school in my walk with the Lord..but even then He was working behind the scenes. i didn't know how He was using me..i prayed back then that i would see Him work in the life of my friends, especially this friend in particular. last night i met with her at starbuck's and she shared this beautifully written piece. i had to hold back my tears of joy. God answered my prayers. something good came out of high school. "amy, when everything crumbled around me.. i felt like a baby, starting all over again.." there is beauty in brokenness..i will say it once, and i will say it again. HE MAKES ALL THINGS NEW.. enjoy:




"the thing about starting over is...

you have to re-learn how to do everything you knew how to do before. it’s learning to hold your head up. rolling over. getting up on all fours. moving that first little inch forward, and beginning to crawl. pulling yourself up and feeling the weight of yourself on your feet. clinging to your Fathers’ fingers as He supports you, guiding you through your first steps. mustering up the courage to stand alone, knowing He’s right there, ready to catch you if you fall. handling your weight as well as gravity, the weight of the world, and remaining upright. putting one foot in front of the other, while maintaining your balance. wobbling at first. stumbling. letting your Father pick you up time and time again, brushing the dirt off your clothes each time. and finally, taking tiny step after tiny step, gradually getting you where you need to go.

it’s going back to the very beginning, and remembering that your Father is there for the helpless times. that He’s there, reaching out his mighty hand to pull you back up after you stumble and fall. remembering His promises for your life, and trusting that, in every stumble He is there, just waiting for us to call out His name."

the swing of things..

i started reading a new book over Thanksgiving called "Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-hard Life"..it pretty much jumped off the shelf at me..you know those books where you're like..so i'm not alone in the world after all? somebody gets me? and is writing to me? yup, that's this book for me. i love how God uses brothers and sisters to speak into our lives through books like this one..i know it is ultimately Him speaking as He has taught them and brought light to things and then laid it on their heart to share..well here's a passage i thought worth sharing..i find myself here time and time again, and i'm sure i'm not the only one..




"Hiding behind fine in the midst of God and everyone is insulting to the cosmic swing God set into motion. So often I feel embarrassed or guilty over my humanness, but our emotions and experiences are all a part of that swing. They add color and dimension and life. We try to hide them behind one-dimensonal masks because we believe they indicate weakness or we consider them to simply be too much trouble to dissect. Trying not to experience the whole spectrum of emotions is trying to be inhuman. It can be especially frustrating when our emotions are the result of thinking and feeling things we know are contrary to God's truth. It doesn't seem okay to swing back and forth between believing truth and believing lies. In their book, The Rest of the Gospel, Dan Stone and Greg smith talk about this swing. 'Our soul fluctuates between thoughts and feelings we don't like and thoughts and feelings we do like, and we don't like those fluctuations...we try to stop that swing, because our soul's fluctuations are unpleasant to us and it seems as if God wants us to stop them. We think that Christian maturity is getting that swing under control.' They go on to explain why God put this swing into motion in the first place: 'God designed us on the soul level to be capable of feeling and thinking things that are contrary to spirit reality. Why? Because that is the only way we can learn to live by faith out of who we really are and who He really is, rather than out of appearances.' Our fluctuation humanness is there on purpose, to remind us of our need and draw us to the One who can meet it. We don't have to figure out the whys and the origins of every swinging emotion. But it is SO important that we admit they are there. To embrace the color and fullness of our emotional, un-fine state is to be open wide enough to receive compassion and grace. Only then will we be able to offer that same compassion and grace to others in honest and authentic ways."

the Lord is your keeper..

as i walk through the present season of my life I have come to know God as my Keeper. looking back on my yesterdays i can honestly say that somewhere along the path i ventured off. i thought i was following my Compass, but little did i know that i was not aligned. i got one degree off. as i kept going i got further and further off from True North. the veering was so subtle that i did not realize how off course i was until i finally looked up and found myself in the blackness of the wilderness.

"And I will punish her for the feast days of the Baals when she burned offerings to them and adorned herself with her ring and jewelry, and went after her lovers and forgot me, declares the LORD. Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor (Valley of Trouble ) a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt." -Hosea 2:13-15

my Beloved took me to the wilderness only to bring me back to Him, more steadfast, held more tightly. brutal lessons were learned. pain was for my gain. and now, i am changed. i have been made anew. i feel His hands so tightly around me. His grip holds firm. He has hemmed me in. He is my Keeper, keeping me close. when i make the slightest turn in the wrong direction He quickly comes to nudge me back in place. fear creeps in that i will somehow get off track again, but then i remember that the only safety is found in the hands of my Keeper, and no one can snatch me from His hands. He loves me too much to let me go.

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." -Proverbs 4:23 here we find another translation to the ever so quoted, yet ever so important "guard your heart" line we get thrown at us..i find rest in knowing that the Lord is my Keeper..i can't guard my heart, i can't keep it the way it should be..but i know the One who can. when it is in His hands, it is safe, and i have freedom to live for Him, to love like Him.

Psalm 121:
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.


commentary on psalm 121:1-8:"The safety of the godly. - We must not rely upon men and means, instruments and second causes. Shall I depend upon the strength of the hills? upon princes and great men? No; my confidence is in God only. Or, we must lift up our eyes above the hills; we must look to God who makes all earthly things to us what they are. We must see all our help in God; from him we must expect it, in his own way and time. This psalm teaches us to comfort ourselves in the Lord, when difficulties and dangers are greatest. It is almighty wisdom that contrives, and almighty power that works the safety of those that put themselves under God's protection. He is a wakeful, watchful Keeper; he is never weary; he not only does not sleep, but he does not so much as slumber. Under this shade they may sit with delight and assurance. He is always near his people for their protection and refreshment. The right hand is the working hand; let them but turn to their duty, and they shall find God ready to give them success. He will take care that his people shall not fall. Thou shalt not be hurt, neither by the open assaults, nor by the secret attempts of thine enemies. The Lord shall prevent the evil thou fearest, and sanctify, remove, or lighten the evil thou feelest. He will preserve the soul, that it be not defiled by sin, and disturbed by affliction; he will preserve it from perishing eternally. He will keep thee in life and death; going out to thy labour in the morning of thy days, and coming home to thy rest when the evening of old age calls thee in. It is a protection for life. The Spirit, who is their Preserver and Comforter, shall abide with them for ever."

see the world through someone else's eyes

"The other day I was at my rheumatologist's office, and in walked Marvin. I had never met Marvin, but I immediately summed him up as a patient—a man about 70 years of age with a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis and several other ills. He wore a plaid flannel shirt, faded jeans, work boots and a scruffy white beard. He sauntered in with an oxygen tank hanging across his shoulder and a box of donuts on his arm. He asked my name and offered me a donut.

Within minutes, I learned that Marvin lives in a small mountain town over 50 miles from Colorado Springs and drives here for each one of his appointments, stopping for donuts along the way. He's lived in the mountains for over 65 years and knows every family in his town. He has eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, one of whom was just born; his name is Evan. Marvin is remodeling his house, and his wife keeps asking why it's taking so long; he tells her it's because she keeps sending him to doctor appointments. He assured me that our doctor has taken good care of him since 1984, and he wouldn't go to anyone else.

There is something I absolutely love about talking to (or in this case, listening to) older people. I find them in turn fascinating, hilarious, adorable and inspiring. I almost never pass up an opportunity to meet and listen to an elderly person, and I am rarely disappointed with my choice. I was reading a book when Marvin walked into the room, but I soon put the book away. I wondered if he waits for his trips to the city to unburden himself of his tales and related news, and I was this trip's captive audience—it certainly seemed to be the case.



My visit with Marvin got me thinking how grateful I am for every encounter I have outside my well-worn sphere of acquaintances. Sure, I love my friends and family, but the Marvins of the world give me fresh eyes. They make me stop and give them my full attention, in part because they're new and in part because they're different. Sometimes I'll meet a Marvin in the business of my day (as I did in my trip to the doctor's office), but sometimes I have the privilege of cultivating a relationship with a Marvin over time. These are the friendships that truly bless me—but they're not without sacrifice. They force me to step out of my normal routine; they put me in different surroundings; they can even expose me to sadness and loss. More often than not they make me stop focusing on myself (is that even possible?) and listen to someone else.

But they're worth it. Without these friendships I wouldn't know Olga's recipe for a good marriage (hers lasted 71 years) or Emil's funny stories or the lessons Carrold learned in the Great Depression or what it was like for Minnie to become a Christian at age 75. I've peppered these friends with questions and have gained wisdom that would be difficult to glean elsewhere. Yes, it's been a good investment.

Do you have an area where you could grow relationally, perhaps by befriending someone different from yourself and serving them at the same time? Maybe, like me, you're drawn to the elderly. Or maybe you like kids and can help an adoptive family juggle their unique demands (this is National Adoption Month—listen to this week's show for a discussion along these lines). Maybe you have a heart for those with special needs, or someone from a different culture, or someone who is struggling to make ends meet. The opportunities are many, so give it a try and let me know what you learn."

-a blog from Boundless Ministries

one thing remains..

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.

yet Love is way too much to give us lesser things..

"i know now, Lord, why You utter no answer. You, Yourself are the answers. before Your face, questions die away. what other answers would suffice?"-C.S. Lewis



We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet Love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
As long as we have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

grasping to let go..

the winds of change bluster once again. i am grasping to let go. i find my fingers fluctuating between fumbling to grasp firm the familiar and the release of relinquishment. as i gravitate back and forth, hands closed then open then closed again, i wonder if there is another choice. some sort of balance. experimenting with my hands i find it is hard to find a middle ground..my hand is either open or closed. anything in between makes my hand look, well, simply disfigured. but what if one hand is open and one hand is closed? this, this might work!

just go with me on this for a minute..let’s take it back to the playground. we won’t go as far as the sand box..rewind with me to the monkey bars. once you hoisted yourself up and were holding onto the first bar, you spent a little time there getting your grip on things..getting comfortable. but then didn’t want to just stand there hanging. you realized it was time for a change, time for you to move to the next bar. so what’d you do? with one hand you held your grip unto the old bar, the bar you were sure of, the bar you know you could trust to hold you up; opening wide the other hand you reached to the next bar and upon firmly grasping it you let go of the other. this pattern continued one by one until you had conquer each bar.
now, think of that monkey bar set as life. each bar representing a change, a step in the journey Home. you can’t stay in one place for long. when you find yourself having to release, you still have something, or should i say Someone to hold onto. and as you reach out in faith, the One who has faithfully upheld you in the past, is sure to be there waiting (if not reaching out to take hold of you) for you to grab hold of the things of the future. one hand open, one hand shut (BUT the question then becomes what is your grip on?)



do you want to live your life feeling like you just got beat up by the playground bully? if we hold onto our lives, if we try to grip things of this world so tightly, that’s exactly how we’ll live life: beaten and worn. things of this world..they are not secure. they are not safe. they are fleeting. they aren’t constant. they will fail us. we will fall. God gives and takes away, and well, NOTHING is ours anyway. so if our hands are grasped shut, either we’ll experience the excruciating pain of our hand being ripped open and something removed or we’ll miss out on the opportunity of receiving something better because our hand was not open..

swinging to the next bar, hand open, hand closed, hand opened, hand closed I go..enjoying the adventure..holding firm to the One Thing that remains amidst change; the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever; the One Who holds secure when all else is shaking; the One Who never lets go; the One Who never fails, Whose love never fails. while simultaneously opening up the other hand..letting go of the past (as He loosens my grasp on the things i am not ready to let go of) and reaching for the Hope and the future that lie ahead; relinquishing control; pressing on to take hold of what Christ Jesus has already taken hold of for me..

"if you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it." -luke 17:33

i cling not to my life, but the Giver of Life, as i rest secure in His grasp.

and they say in life there are no guarantees..

"for no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through Him the "amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come" (2 Corinthians 1:20-22).

days like these

winter sets in once again, as i feel myself coming out of hibernation as most of my other furry forest friends are just snuggling in. may the blizzard rage, still i will stand, upheld by Your magnificent hand. with each falling flake i see the intricacy of life, the detail, the uniqueness. purity pours, washed white as snow, covered from head to toe. something about days like these awakens the child within us all. it’s almost magical, if i believed in magic. there’s just no words to describe this sheer delight. “let me hear joy” pleads Psalm 51:8, and in the sounds of laughter and cheer, i hear this joy resound, it’s own supernatural ecstasy. child like faith is reawakened as we feel the warmth of being carried in Daddy's arms. just as we tend to slip around on the ice in life, His hand is always extended to help us stay stable, especially when we don’t feel able. the love of a father prompts his provision for his children, and today Dad has gifted His children with a playground of white; a day of rest; a change of pace; a heavy peace; an opportunity for productivity; a reminder of innocence; a place of resting in Him. days like these are filled with many favorite memories of days i felt most alive, free, and filled with glee. days like these are a glimpse of Heaven to me, or what i dream it may be, a way in which God romances me. i am beyond thankful for days like these. however fleeting today may be, as things melt and white we no longer see, i am overcome with hope, for there will be a day when days like these will never cease, when You usher in final peace.

a time to weep..

"sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us." -Ecclesiastes 7:3


http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0000920.cfm

check this out!

2010: "consider what great things He has done for you." -1 Samuel 12:24

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=hp#!/note.php?note_id=479291688459

the 2010 year in review..