uncertain now | certain then

Discontent.

Slapped in the face by future.

Floodgates opened to fear and lies.

Longing for certainty, I try to control.

I waste time in the present borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34 it is written, another command broken, sin.
Grace, please flood in.

Disoriented.

I believe God’s promises, but choosing to live as though His word is true

Is something that my mind is finding hard to do.

God’s sovereignty vs. man’s responsibility

Tell me what to do, tell me Your will, for I desire to do it

Can I please get some direction?!

But faith is what pleases You most, so You remain silent

You choose to guide me one step at a time

Because if I knew the destination, on You I would not rely

Discouraged.

You change my heart to do what You want me to do

You create this longing inside of me for more of You

Then it seems You go hide

Sometimes I’m afraid to keep seeking because I don’t know what I’ll find

These lies, they bind, they blind.

When all the while You gently whisper, “remember your life isn't yours, it's Mine.”

"My precious, you've died but once again I need you to die."

Disappointed.

Trying to set my heart and mind on things above

Reality of where I am sets in and suppresses the desires of my heart

I feel the tension between this temporal world and my eternal Home ripping me apart
I run to things of this world for comfort
The expectations I put on Earth it does not satisfy, it fails me every single time.
The certainty I long for cannot be found Here,
For where sin remains, uncertainty plagues.
Where sin is no more, certainty reigns.
Here is temporal uncertainty, There is eternal certainty.

And out of all of this, a hope bringing truth surfaces:

Never expect Earth to deliver what only Heaven promises.

Disburdened.

Photo Credit: Ann Voskamp