“They asked her, ‘Woman, why are you crying?’ ‘They have taken my Lord away,’ she said, ‘and I don't know where they have put Him.’ At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. ‘woman," He said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?’ Thinking He was the gardener, she said, ‘Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.’ Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher). Jesus said, ‘Do not hold on to Me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" (John 20:13-17).
our hearts becomes calloused to familiar stories unless we seek fresh perspectives. these serve as pumice stones, cracking and massaging the rough parts away, allowing a surging freshness to seep into our souls. on Resurrection Sunday, this passage brought resurrected life into my heart which has recently found itself in a dry, cracked, desert of a season. over the past few weeks I have found myself stuck in a rut, stalled. my frustration has led to tears. if only tears could gather as streams in the desert to form under you and help you float on. but they don’t. as C.S. Lewis says, “Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”
in the above passage we find Mary. she has ventured to the tomb to peer in and find that Jesus’ dead body is no longer in the tomb. in the chaos of everything that had transposed in the past three days, the one thing she thought she knew for certain is where Jesus was. she was grieving, and the only thing she had a want to do was to go visit and take care of her beloved Lord. it shook her, angered her, shot her into a paranoid frenzy of tears. she thought the most dearest thing to her heart had been ripped away from her, she thought Jesus had been taken away..but little did she know that He was standing right next to her.
so many times in my life I find myself in a place where I can’t find God, I don’t feel Him there, “God, where are You?” I ask. but the truth is that God never goes anywhere, it is I who venture off, or forget to remember His constant omnipresence in my life, that He IS Immanuel, even during times in the desert. Jesus is with me always but like Mary, I do not realize that it is Jesus with me. I have found it is in those times when I think Jesus is farthest away, that He is nearest. “Amy, why are you crying? Who are you looking for? Don’t you know I am already here, that I haven’t left you Amy? I’ve always been here Amy. I’m not going anywhere. I will always meet you where you are. All you need is Me, and you’ll always have Me. Don’t know where you need to go? Come to me, look at Me Amy, I am standing exactly where you need to be, because you need to be with Me. Why are you crying? Stop crying. Come here, come to me My beloved.”
It only took Jesus saying her name, “Mary,” for the fog to clear as Mary recognized Jesus, risen. I picture Mary, bewildered, aching, overcome with grief and confusion and anger, longing for Jesus and willing to do anything to see Him (many times we get caught up in doing more because we think that will bring us closer to Jesus, will help us find Him in a way we are missing Him..but we miss out on more of Him because we are too busy and concerned with many things that don’t matter to realize THAT HE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES! beckoning us to just look at Him. He is not hiding from us..He has called us His friends because He wants to share things with us). with tears streaming from her cheeks Jesus simply, sweetly, tenderly, firmly, compassionately, calmly, boldly, says her name, and the scales fall off her eyes as she looks up and realizes it is Jesus. Mary’s face transforms from sorrow to joy, her heart throbs and she glows. she cannot believe her eyes but is fully persuaded it is He, “RABBONI!” all she wants to do is run and cling to Him, but He instructs against it, because out of His sacrificial love He wants even better for her. although He wants to stay and console her, Jesus know that He must ascend to Heaven in order that the Counselor, the Spirit might come. Jesus knows that the Spirit living IN Mary is better than for Him to stay and continue to walk beside her.
“Amy, Why are you crying?” “Because I am so forgetful. I forgot You are with me Lord.” “Amy, baby girl, It’s Me. I’m not leaving you.”
Why are you crying? Why are you freaking out as if Jesus is not there? Take time to recognize His presence, to realize Jesus is standing next to you. He is here with us, constantly here with us. And life is worth the living because He lives. And when you forget, when you are so focused on the waves and not His face, when you can't recognize Him, listen for Him, because He WILL be calling your name. He will say your name just as sweetly, tenderly, firmly, and comforting as He called Mary’s. and most assuredly you will recognize Jesus for His sheep know His voice. it may come through reading the Word, through the sound of the sweet spring rain, through the lyrics of a song, through the words of a friend, in joy, in pain, in laughter, in tears, as you lay your head on your pillow at the end of the day, in the sound of crickets outside your window, through a camera lens, in a book, or in silence. be open. in whatever way, you will hear Him say your name.
God is with you, pray that you will be with Him today.
